I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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