Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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