I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
