Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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