Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
