I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize