That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
