I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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