you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I need to align my fucking chakras
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