12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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