There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
