I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
