please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
