You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize