We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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