i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
