Are we in a gay sports bar?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
