Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
my liver is dry heaving
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
