just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
