Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
