Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
