i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
