Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
