WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
