I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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