I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
