By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
