It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
honey bunches of taint.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My dick has a subreddit
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
