i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
