i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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