So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize