Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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