normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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