why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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