never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
