The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
