Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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