For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
