I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He has the fingertips of a God
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
