Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
