Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he laminated a picture of his dick.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
