I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
