I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
