she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
