Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
