We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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