Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
