i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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