It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
