is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
