I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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