The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
