I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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