It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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