I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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