so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
