gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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