Dual....:-)
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize