dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
