She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
