This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
