I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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