an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
