is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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