He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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