my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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