I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Congratulations! We have a period
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
