how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize