nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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