Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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