He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
