i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
